It was the title of an article that I read this morning from the New York Times; don’t exactly remember what it was about, but I remember how beautifully the article was titled. The moment I saw it, I had to read it through just because how it sounded. Thinking how lucky the person whoever the hero/heroine of the story enabling to chant someone making him/her heart sing, my eyes reading it through beamed with such jealous. I am not denying there were moments that I appreciate the life in general for knowing some of those I’ve fortunately become acquainted, or experiencing some of things I did; but it would still need to be very very and very special to have someone’s heart sing, don’t you think?
Then, shortly after completing the article, I found myself looking back hard if there was such an occasion like that for me too lately. After all, I wasn’t that unfortunate I guess; I could actually think of a couple of events I laughed hard, my eyes glowed in such warmth, and my heart was beating so fast. But, did my heart want to sing even then? To reach to such stage of delight felicity, it takes more than simple trembling of emotion and hard laughter, I guess.
I assume everything we do is eventually for the pursuit of happiness. Whatever “happinesses” are, we all are reaching out to grasp a piece of it every moment in our lives, believing they would bring a stage of nirvana without regrets. Here, we naturally would wonder what is this “happiness”? and why do we so desperately want it? If we have it, would our hearts want to sing? I know what would make me laugh and where I feel comfortable. But do I really understand what/when my heart would want to sing? Have there been any throughout my life? They say life is a continuity of making choices. I can’t be an exception; I have been making choices and I know I will be. Generally, I am content with what I chose, but what about those not been chosen?; what about those still lingering in some hidden corners of my heart??
There were moments I thought certain things wouldn’t be matter to me and I wouldn't be bother without them; but now I am about to experience the sheer regret for the foolish thoughts and following abrupt acts. I find myself longing for what everyone else seems enjoying. Why something such ordinary to all should be something such extraordinary to someone else?
Are people born with unique nature, individually distinctive one another?, and can’t they be changed no matter what sorts of circumstances and experiences they would have in their lives? In the deep down our hearts, do we all know what we are? Although, there may be occasional fights with the destiny, do we all eventually return to what were destined??
I know I am a simple person who sees the most beautiful things from the simplest and the most ordinary things. A sip of cocktail in a remote beach at the sunset would make my heart sing; if I have someone I TLC, hell yes; that would definitely make my heart sing in its highest joy. Is this too much for asking? Why can’t life be as simple as how it sounds? What do we fight for during our entire lives? Because we all are seeking perfection amid of such imperfection? This thing is now turning into an endless murmurings and grumbles, which I’ve never been appreciating for its wasting nature.
After all the above mutterings, although parts of me still hesitant, I know there is a way I am supposed to follow; and I will. I just wish my heart will find peace and such joy in it, not to mention my body musters strength enough to carry out what it takes to complete it!
Thank you God, I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Alexa from Seoul.
