What use salt would have if it loses its unique taste?
This is quite threatening words if you think twice, since it is questioning the purpose of our existance, directly. For some time, but not from so long ago, I have been sensing that the once intense strength to differ myself from many of the others and drive me forward with critical perspectives to observe daily occasions have been faded away, very slowly and thus almost unnoticeably even to myself. Then, bang! Without anyh particular reasons or occasions, I just realized this morning that I have lost the unique taste of mine if there were any to start with in the beginning. Envisaging the above plunged my ever lazy awareness into a tiny confinement cell filled with senses of insecurity and endangerment.
It was when I listened to one of CBC Radio programs introducing a book called "Sleeping Buddha," written by a young Canadian woman with an Afgan ethnicity who travelled to Kabul and met with young Afgans as an attempt to understand how they perceive the world and deliver their thoughts to the outside of the Islam world. So she did. I was inspired not because that I felt the book was done in highly sophicated manners, but because the book was completed by a woman of my age pushing herself to seek what she aimed initically, which is in many ways, not so different from what I have wished for doing in my life. Through paying attentions to the voices unheard and assuring to publish their stories in the west, she realized her promises that she made to herself and to those she met along the way.
Depressing myself or the others would be the last thing I would want to do, but certain things seem seriously not right lately. Finally, the daily routines surpasses my reason, and this slowly yet painfully puts me into a deep sleep of numbness and indifferences. Occasionally, there are those trying to warn me for not noticing what I was supposed to notice, here and there of my daily routines, but I don't/can't seem to catch glimpse of them anymore. Oh, god, what should I do and where should I start to annihilate this viciousness?
